Gay Pride with Jesus’ Son
I was telling the story of Jack, the Son of the Son of God.
“...just spooging and spooging and spooging, all over the place!!!”
My husband Bob and I were in bed together, post-post-coital-coitus, both of us turning red with laughter.
“That is fucking hot!” Bob cried. “Wish I could’ve seen it!”
“Well, I mean, he disappeared right after that,” I said, calming down but still giggling. “It’s easy to laugh about it now that I know everything turned out ok, but I was devastated at the time. Anyway, Jesus swooped in and rescued me, and you pretty much know the rest.”
“And you really don’t know why that got him off?” Bob asked.
“No idea,” I said. “We haven’t talked about it. I mean, what am I supposed to say? Hey, what was up with you cumming that one time St. Peter crucified you?”
“Hmmmm,” Bob said mischievously, “I could make a few guesses.”
“Oh my god, let’s not,” I groaned.
“Let’s not what?” Bob asked, “Talk about how much of a sub your boyfriend is?”
“Ew, dude,” I said, rolling on top of him, pinning him down and giving him a playful smooch. “Whatever it was, I really don’t want to know. My relationship with Jack isn’t like that.”
“Too bad,” Bob said as I rolled off of him and out of bed. “Hate to see a body like his go to waste.”
“Well, there are plenty of other bodies around here to enjoy,” I said, pulling on my pants. “I’ll make sure the tour includes the orgy wing. C’mon, we left him waiting long enough. He loves giving tours. He’s really proud of this place.”
We each put on our standard-issue Slack Heaven uniform, a loose-fitting white shirt and matching pants. The clothes were sturdy and never stained, but so comfortable that it felt like wearing nothing at all. We headed out into the Great Hall.
The Slack Lodge was built with living logs, and Jack had been growing it for decades by that point. There was little repetition in its thousands of rooms, hallways and corridors. The only constant was the multi-story Great Hall that ran the entire length of the place, with its floor-to-ceiling windows facing out over the Curtain of Light.
“There’s all sorts of ways to get around here,” I said. “Pedway, monorail, skyway, glass elevator, lazy river. But I thought, to start out, we might go for a nice run!”
“Ugh,” Bob said, “since when do I like running?”
“Since tag,” I said, tapping him, “you’re it!”
I took off sprinting.
“Hey!” Bob said, running after me.
I ran top speed along the balcony, then parkoured down a staircase to the bottom floor, glancing back to make sure Bob was following. I zig-zagged my way through the residents, leapt over some folks lounging on adirondack chairs, wound my way through a life-sized chess game, scattered a colorful pack of caretaker bears and stopped to take a few hops over double-dutch jump ropes.
“Wait up!” Bob shouted, but he was laughing. He had figured out how easy this was in our heavenly bodies.
I continued my dash, turning into a long hallway, up some stairs, down some other stairs, and into a kitchen. I ran into a protocol droid carrying a tray of food, then I was carrying the tray. We did a do-si-do, I handed the tray back and kept running.
I burst outside into the waterpark, jumping over some residents making chalk drawings on the concrete.
“Fuck!” I heard Bob call out behind me. I stopped and looked back. He’d slipped on a piece of chalk and landed on his ass. I cursed and ran back to him.
“You alright?” I asked, helping him to his feet.
“Yeah, I think so,” he said. He pointed at a towering waterslide. “Is that where we’re going?”
“Yeah, that’s where Jack said to meet him,” I said.
“Tag, you’re it!” Bob shouted, speeding away.
I caught up to him just as we got to Jack, and we ended in a spinning hug. Jack was laughing. I knew it made him happy to see us happy.
“I think we’re ready for the tour!” I announced.
“Great!” smiled Jack, gesturing around. “This is the waterpark!”
The tour took hours, quite possibly even days—it was easy to lose track of time there. Slack Heaven was the size of a large town, and there was a lot to see. I hadn’t been on the tour myself since I first arrived, and much had been added.
“When did we get a zoo?” I asked as we rode along in a zebra-striped golf cart train.
“I’m not sure,” Jack said, “but I vaguely remember being on shrooms when I got the idea. Probably not the most slackful thing we could have around here, I guess. But it’s not like we have to take care of it ourselves!”
A bunch of brown caretaker bears with poop emojis on their bellies shuffled around the elephant enclosure, scooping. One of the elephant bulls was visibly aroused, which I tried to discreetly ignore. Bob didn’t.
“Oh my goodness,” Bob said in a southern accent, pretending to fan himself, “give a girl a chance to work her way up!”
Jack chuckled. I blushed.
Bob was delighted to find a Mold-A-Rama machine that made monkey figurines out of orange wax, then the tour moved on. We visited everything from the botanical gardens to the retro twentieth century video game arcade. Jack and Bob seemed to get along well. We all ended up getting high back in my living room—our living room, now.
“It’s been centuries since I reincarnated outside the globe,” Bob said, “but I should reach out and see if any of my old friends are around, now that I remember they exist.”
Having full memory of every life you’d lived was a rare thing, reserved for people resurrected by idols with the requisite technology. Luckily, Christian tech was the best.
“I can get you hooked up with a tablet,” Jack said, “and in the meantime, there’s a public altar just down the hall, though there might be a wait.”
Communication in the afterlife largely occurred over the psychic Network through a connection protocol Jack called “comm union.” Altars were basically displays, and tablets were pocket-sized altars.
“Naw, it’s cool, I can draw my own,” Bob said. He pulled a piece of chalk out of his pocket (he must have grabbed it during our chase) and began to draw a circle on the floor.
“No, dude, I’ve got my tablet right here,” I said, feeling my face flush.
Bob ignored me and finished drawing a pentacle.
“Just to be clear, it’s right side up!” I rushed to explain to Jack.
“Dude, it’s fine by me,” Jack laughed.
Bob got down on one knee and bowed his head. Inside the pentacle appeared the image of a heavyset Viking woman with long blond braids and a horned helmet.
“Welcome to Norsemail!” she said, “Please state your passphrase.”
Bob stood and said, “My pussy tastes like holy water! One! Exclamation point!”
He emphasized the last few words by thrusting his hips side-to-side.
“Oh my god,” I winced.
“You have one thousand, three hundred and sixty-seven messages,” the Viking woman said.
“Guys, I think this might take awhile,” Bob said.
“Leif and I can go get breakfast,” Jack said. “Join us downstairs when you’re done?”
“Sure thing!” Bob said. He ran over and gave me a quick kiss. “I love you!”
“I love you, too,” I sighed as he turned back to the pentacle.
The Viking woman vanished, and was replaced by a gruff looking man wearing a buckskin suit and a raccoon-skin cap.
“Guuuuuuuurl, it’s Dinah! How come you never call?”
“Uck,” Bob said, rolling his eyes. “Delete!“
I was frozen with embarrassment.
“C’mon,” Jack said, tugging my shirtsleeve. We went out to the Great Hall.
“I like him!” Jack declared.
“Really?” I asked.
“Yeah, why wouldn’t I?”
“No reason!” I said. “He’s my husband! He’s fucking awesome, obviously! Just wanted to make sure you realized that...”
We found a dining table and placed our order with the T-1000 working our section. We passed a joint back and forth between us while we waited. I loved hanging out stoned in the Great Hall, just staring at the flickering candles on the multi-tiered antler chandelier. I did kind of miss the breakfast buffets we had in the original Slack Lodge in the globe, but there was really no point to a buffet in heaven, since anything you could possibly want to eat would be custom replicated and brought to you by one of our robot servants. And anyway, I’d grown fond of just ordering one giant mound of bacon, a dish I had not been able to painlessly enjoy since I was seven.
I was halfway through my mound when my tablet vibrated. I pulled the flat stone slab out of my pocket, placed it on the table and gave a quick bow of my head to answer. A six-inch-tall Bob appeared standing on it.
“Oh my gods, Leif, you’ll never guess what happened!” he said, holding up his palms as if to stop me. “We. Got. Invited. To. GayPrideatSteve’sPlace!!!”
He squealed.
“Who?” I asked.
Bob rolled his eyes.
“Steve, the First Gay Man!” he chided. “You know, not Adam and Eve, but...”
“Oh!” I said, sincerely surprised. “I didn’t realize he actually existed.”
“Seeee,” Bob taunted, “you’re not the only one with friends from the Judeo-Christian mythos! Steve has the largest gloryhole maze on the entire continent—I hear it’s even got a minotaur behind the center hole. We have to go! You’re gonna take me, right?”
“Sure,” I said. I hadn’t been to a Gay Pride festival since college. Honestly, by the first time I kicked the bucket, Pride had gotten a bit overrun with straight people cosplaying as queer. But I knew Bob would have a blast, and a happy Bob meant a happy Leif.
“There’s just one teensy weensy problem,” Bob said. “It’s tomorrow, and Steve’s Place is a full day’s saucer ride away. We’d need to leave right away. And find a way to pay for a saucer ride...”
“That’s not a problem,” Jack said. “We can take the Eagle’s Wing Mach II. It should only take like twenty minutes to get there!”
“You want to go to Gay Pride?” I asked Jack.
“Sure, why not?” he asked back.
“This one doesn’t exactly sound vanilla,” I said, “and you’re not, y’know...”
“Look, Jack, do you have a pussy?” Bob asked.
“No,” Jack said.
“Do you like the pussy?” Bob asked.
“No,” Jack laughed.
“Gay enough!” Bob proclaimed.
“Great!” Jack said. “I’ll instruct the caretaker bears to start prepping the ship. We can get there early!”
“Oh gods no,” Bob said. “You say it’ll take twenty minutes to get there? Honey, we’ll leave two hours after it starts!”
So it was decided that Bob, Jack and I were all going to Gay Pride at Steve’s Place.
I wasn’t sure how I felt about this.
The continent of Atlantis, on which we resided, was so mind-numbingly huge that distance was usually only measured in time based on your fastest available mode of transportation. The original Eagle’s Wing had been much slower than a flying saucer, though it was still faster than anything I’d grown up with in the globe. The Eagle’s Wing Mach II, however, made even a flying saucer seem like a donkey. It was the absolute pinnacle of Christian technology, vastly outstripping anything the pagan idols had developed. It was the kind of ship that was usually only available to the upper crust of the upper crust of Actual Christian Heaven, which Slack Heaven wasn’t technically a part of. But Jesus gave one to Jack anyway as a heavenwarming gift.
It was a hot air balloon.
“It goes all the way to upper space!” Jack bragged.
“You mean outer space?” I asked.
“No, higher than that,” Jack insisted. “Upper space. The higher you go, the smaller earth gets, which means you can get to places way faster than if you just take a saucer. That’s also why all the stars look like tiny dots, even though they’re really the lights from entire continents triflecting off the aether!”
I wasn’t sure that made any sense.
“Or maybe—hear me out—just maybe,” I said, “the stars are actually giant balls of gas billions of miles away.”
“Look, dude, that’s just how they explained it in school,” Jack said. “I’m not—”
“—a cosmologist, I know,” I sighed.
I knew I was being a dick, but I couldn’t help it at that moment. I hadn’t had a proper sleep since Bob showed up, and though my body could keep awake indefinitely, my brain really needed a break. Bob was holed up in our suite putting together his outfit, which he insisted should be a surprise, so I found a comfy couch in a quiet corner of the library and napped until it was almost time to leave.
I found Jack waiting just outside my suite. He was wearing fishnet stockings on his arms, glitter tights on his legs, a Nine Inch Nails The Downward Spiral t-shirt, camo shorts and combat boots. And he was wearing his hair down.
I got a bit of a chub.
“You gonna change?” Jack asked.
“Yeah, let me just...”
I knocked lightly on the suite door and then cracked it slightly.
“Is it ok if I come in?”
“Just stand back,” Bob shouted.
He flung the door open.
“Because I’m COMING OUT!!!”
Arms raised in the air, he did a runway walk and twirled. He was in an enormously poofy ballgown striped with the full crayola Gay Pride rainbow. His blond curls were pulled into an updo. He had glitter makeup on his face and a small blue star on his cheek.
“Wooooooo!” Jack cat-called.
Even I chuckled. The nap had done me some good.
“I just need a couple minutes,” I said.
I ran into the bedroom and started rummaging through my closet. I had a pile of outfits that I’d replicated for different parties throughout the years, but it was all, like, flannels or hawaiian prints. I finally decided on the cowboy outfit I’d worn to Violet’s Halloween party. I was brave enough to leave out the checkered shirt and just go with the vest, but I kept my jeans on under the chaps.
We took the monorail to the hangar where the Eagle’s Wing Mach II was waiting and ready to go. The balloon itself was white, in the style of most heavenly tech, and you could see the shimmer of a containment field around it that would protect us from the elements. Underneath it hung a traditional-looking basket. We climbed on in and took our seats. Bob’s dress meant he took up half the bench himself. Light blue caretaker bears with balloons on their bellies removed the anchors. The burner system kicked in, and we shot into the sky.
We passed through the cloudy atmosplane very quickly, the earth below us pulling together like a zipper as we exited the spacetime distortion that hid the Curtain of Light. Then we entered the saucer layer with its parallax effect, the infinite horizon locked in place while the ground below us unfolded like a fractal. Then the infinite plane of the world seemed to grow translucent and fade out completely. There was nothing but blue sky in every direction, even down. I’d long ago given up on actually wrapping my brain around how any of this was supposed to work, but that’s what I saw.
“Time for a quick bowl?” Jack asked, pulling a pre-packed glass piece out of his pocket and passing it to me.
“So, Jack,” Bob said as I took my hit, “I hear you have actually had an orgasm before.”
For the first time since I got to heaven, I had a coughing fit.
“Yup, just that once,” Jack laughed.
“I wasn’t even sure if you remembered that,” I said, catching my breath.
“Not something you easily forget,” Jack said.
“Any clue what did it for you?” Bob asked.
“Nope,” Jack said. “My dick has been floppy ever since.”
I was speechless. I knew Bob had a way of putting people at ease when discussing sexuality, but I felt like I was seeing a side of Jack I’d never seen before, and I wasn’t sure what to make of it.
“Well, if you see anything at the party that piques your interest and you want to give it a try with someone you can trust, you just let Momma know,“ Bob said, dropping into a deep, campily sultry voice.
“I’ll...keep that in mind,” Jack said with unnerving sincerity.
I was grateful it was a short trip.
We landed outside the entrance to the festival grounds, a handful of scantily clad attendants helping to anchor the balloon. We passed underneath an archway that said STEVE’S PLACE in alternating rainbow letters. There were rainbows all over—innumerable flags and balloons, of course, but also stairs, benches, lampposts, and anything that could possibly be painted rainbow stripes. Everywhere I looked was every kind of man: old and young, hairy and smooth, thin, fat, and muscular, wearing everything from full drag to just jockstraps. Thumping dance music played over the loudspeakers. The sun was shining and the ambiance was joyful.
Just beyond the entrance was a giant altar projecting the larger-than-life image of a tall man with a black crew cut, a bushy mustache and a tanned, built body covered in curly hair. He wore nothing but a white towel around his waist.
“Hey boys, I’m Steve! Welcome to My Place!” the figure said, his voice powerful and manly but still a touch gayer than you’d expect from looking at him. “Just a reminder to keep your play safe and consensual. No recording of any kind is allowed. Please make note of the emergency exits. And most importantly, have fun! Happy Gay Pride everyone! Hey boys, I’m Steve...”
Jack wandered away from me a little, looking around in curiosity. Bob ran up to me, excitedly reading a map he grabbed from the “Himformation Booth.”
“Oh my gods this place has everything!” Bob said gleefully. “Pool, hot tub, sauna, steam room, showers, wave pool, gloryhole maze, blowjob arena, porno movie theater, porno live theater, floor show, BDSM demonstrations fifteen minutes after every hour, cruising woods, cruising beach, cruising parking lot, cruising train, cruising bus, cruising cruise, tearoom—shit, they even got teacups! I’ve got no idea where to start!”
“Hey, listen,” I said quietly to him, “I want to stay close to Jack for a little bit, make sure he doesn’t get too weirded out. But you should definitely get out there and do all the things. I don’t want to hold you back. Is that ok?”
“Yeah, sure, no problem!” Bob said. “But it’s your loss!”
I gave him a kiss, we exchanged I-love-yous, and he stepped forward to face the full park.
“Aaaaaand...REVEAL!!!”
He grabbed his gown at his chest and, with a single movement, ripped the entire thing off. The gown floated away as if it was made of helium. Underneath, Bob was wearing nothing but a rainbow-striped speedo.
“Catch up with you later, boys!” Bob said, waving to me and Jack as he skipped away.
“You’re not going with him?” Jack asked, rejoining me.
“Nah, I’ve been to plenty of places like this,” I said. “I figured I’d stick with you awhile, make sure you’re having a good time.”
“Dude, but you’re always too shy to have sex when I’m around,” Jack protested.
“That’s not true,” I said, knowing it was absolutely true.
“Look, I’ll be fine,” Jack said. “Seriously, I think I’d actually appreciate some time to just wander around here alone. See if there’s anything, y’know...for me. If that’s ok with you, I mean...”
“Yeah, sure!” I said with no small amount of surprise. “Nothing wrong with that, just so long as you’re enjoying yourself...”
“Cool!” Jack said. “Just drop me a prayer if anything comes up, I’ve got my tablet!”
I watched him disappear into the crowd, and I was alone at Gay Pride.
I moped around trying to figure out what I might be interested in. The line for the gloryhole maze was really long, though it was moving pretty quickly because so many guys were getting off before they got to the front. Eventually I decided on the “Double Trouble” attraction. It wasn’t as dirty as it sounded, but it was novel—a combination cruising woods and steam room.
I wandered through the trees and fog, keeping my distance from the silhouettes of men fucking in various positions. I really wasn’t feeling it. I found a place that seemed decently quiet and sat down on a log to think.
“Hey there, bud, everything ok?”
I looked up. It was Steve, exactly as he had appeared on the altar, towel and all.
“Oh! Hi!” I said. “No, yeah, great party! I just needed a break...”
“How come I have trouble believing that?” Steve said, sitting down next to me.
“I’m Jo—I’m Leif,” I said, offering my hand. He shook it gently.
“I know who you are,” Steve said. “Don’t tell Bob, but I invited him hoping that he’d bring you.”
“Really?” I asked. It was always Bob or Jack that got the invites. I couldn’t remember the last time the host of a party was specifically looking for me.
“Yeah,” Steve explained. “There are few enough of us homos in Christianity, even outside the Canon. I just wanted to meet you.”
“Oh,” I said, “well, I’m not sure I’ve been the best homo lately.”
“Now why would you say that?” Steve asked.
“It’s just...my best friend and my husband just met,” I said. It felt good to talk about this out loud. “I was really worried they weren’t going to get along. But now I’m worried they’re getting along too well.”
“Why is that a problem?”
“I don’t know,” I sighed. “It shouldn’t be. I love them both so much. I’ve been kind of a dick to Bob, though. Usually I adore his antics. He gets me outside of myself. With Jack around, though...”
Steve chuckled sympathetically.
“I think I’ve seen this before,” he said. “I was friends with a couple, way, way back when. Heterosexuals, but I loved them both dearly. The husband, though, he could be kind of a dumbass. I didn’t mind. His wife didn’t mind, either—except when I was around. Then she’d suddenly get embarrassed by his every little quirk. It took her centuries to get over it. I think, sometimes, we worry that other people don’t see our loved ones the same way we do. We think we’ll be judged for our partners’ rough edges. But usually, all the stuff that we love about them, others love, too.”
“Bob’s not a dumbass, though,” I said.
“Well, you seem worried he’s something,“ Steve said.
“I guess,” I said.
“Look,” Steve said. “If your husband and your friend are both out there having fun today, you should be, too. It’s Gay Pride!”
“I’m just not in the mood,” I said.
“Oh c’mon, I recognize that meat suit you’re in,” Steve said. “That’s a Rapture™ model body if I’ve ever seen one. You can be in the mood whenever you want.”
“That’s the thing, though,” I said. “I don’t have to be in the mood unless I want. So why be in the mood? All this gay stuff made sense before I could flip my sex drive off and on at will, when I’d actually go a bit crazy if I didn’t get laid. But why even bother turning myself on now?”
“Because it’s fun?” Steve asked. “Because maybe you don’t need that release, but everyone needs some kind of release, and this kind of release is better than most? It’s one thing to tut-tut sex if you’d otherwise be out there saving the world or something. Priorities matter. But you’re not saving the world, are you? You’re just moping on a log.”
“Sex complicates things, though,” I said. “My friend Jack, he’s asexual—or at least, I thought he was asexual. And he always seemed better off for it. And now I can be asexual, too, if I want...”
“Tell me,” Steve said, “do you think Jack is asexual because he wants to be? Or do you think he’d have sex if he could?”
I knew the answer to that for sure. Jack had told me about the many times he’d tried. He said he always just felt silly afterwards. But here he was, trying again.
“You’re right,” I said. “You’re absolutely right. I’m going way too hard on myself. I should be out there, riding the dildo carousel and enjoying the fuck out of this place. Like Jack always says, you gotta party while the groom is at the wedding.”
Steve smiled. “Or, occasionally, before the groom leaves for the wedding...”
I laughed.
“Thanks,” I said, “I really needed to talk this out.”
“No problem,” he said, patting my leg. “That’s what your buddy Steve is here for. Anyway, now that I cheered you up a bit...”
He pulled open his towel.
Thunk.
“Want to suck my dick?”
“Sure!” I said.
Afterwards, as I was wiping off my face with his towel, Steve said, “One more thing...”
“Hunh?” I asked.
“We’re all more obviously gay than we think we are,” he said. “Stop trying to butch it up so much. It’s a little pathetic. Just be yourself. Anyway, it was nice to finally meet you, John.”
He strode away, butt naked, before I could say anything else.
I made my way back through the park. I wasn’t really looking to get off again, but I was feeling a lot better than I had been, and it was actually a lot of fun watching everyone else get off in pretty much every way a guy could think to get off without involving a woman. I found a Mold-A-Rama machine that made pink wax figurines of Michelangelo’s David and got one for Bob. Then I caught one of the BDSM demos, which was just one guy over a bench getting a light spanking while another guy was chained to a St. Andrew’s cross in the background. By this point, I was not surprised to find Jack there, absolutely transfixed by the scene.
“Hey dude,” I said, grinning.
“I was just watching!” Jack yelped, startled and blushing.
“It’s cool,” I laughed, “you’re allowed.”
“They really enjoy that?” Jack asked.
“I’ve seen them enjoy a hell of a lot worse than that,” I said. “You seen Bob around?”
Just then, we heard a high-pitched scream.
“EEEEEEK! A CHILD!“
We both turned to look. Standing in the midst of all the men were two women, one with long hair wearing a flowing hippie dress and the other with short hair wearing a t-shirt and jeans. The butch one was holding a baby while the femme one pushed a toddler in a stroller.
“Is this the Pride Festival?” the butch one asked hesitantly.
“WOMEN AND CHILDREN!” a queeny twink screamed in panic. “WOMEN AND CHILDREN!!!”
“Who the fuck let them in here?” someone else shouted.
“It’s not my wife, is it?”
“Oh my gawd, get me out of here!”
Before we knew it, gay men were stampeding around us. A klaxon began to sound.
“LIFEBOATER ALERT!” Steve said over the loudspeakers. “THIS IS A LIFEBOATER ALERT! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! PLEASE PROCEED TO THE EXITS IN AN ORDERLY FASHION! DO NOT MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH THE WOMEN OR CHILDREN! I REPEAT, LIFEBOATER ALERT!”
Figures in pink biohazard suits surrounded the lesbians.
“We better find Bob and get out of here,” I said.
We found him on the teacups ride. It was just a spinning carnival ride. Nothing sexy about it, just teacups. Bob was having a blast, oblivious to the emergency around him.
“WHEEEEEEEEE!” he shouted, waving at us as he spun past.
We coaxed Bob off the ride and got back to the Eagle’s Wing Mach II without encountering any more women or children.
On the ride home, Bob asked, “So, Jack, see anything interesting?”
“Oh, um, actually,” Jack said nervously, “there was that, uh, DBMS thing I might like to try...”
Bob gave me a knowing look.
“No kidding,“ Bob said. “Dom or sub?”
“Uh, whichever was the one...getting tied up...” Jack said, flushing.
“Well, what do you say, Leif?” Bob asked. “Should you and I help Jack discover the pleasures of giving up control?”
They both looked at me.
“To be honest with you guys,” I said, “I think that would be a little too weird for me...”
Bob rolled his eyes. Jack looked disappointed.
“But I think you two should go for it!” I said.
“Really?“ they both asked in unison.
“Yeah,” I said. “You’ll never know unless you try, dude. And if there’s anyone in this world I’d trust to give you the spanking I’m sure you deserve, it’s Bob.”
Jack grinned.
“You really up for it?” Bob asked Jack.
“Yes, uh...Sir?”
I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Great!” Bob said. “I’ll get things set up as soon as we’re home!”
Before I knew it, I was sitting on a couch outside my suite. Bob and Jack were inside, and I was second-guessing myself. Was this really the right thing to do?
I didn’t want to deny Jack his chance at actual sexual gratification, and if this turned out to be what got him off, I certainly wasn’t going to judge. But I really didn’t think masochism had much to do with why he had an orgasm when he entered the Lake of Fire. Honestly, there seemed to be something holier involved when that happened. It was just really difficult to picture this being Jack’s thing.
And Bob’s flame had always burned brighter than his firewood, so to speak. Most of what he ever said was for shock value. At the end of the day, he was kind of vanilla.
But maybe, if it all worked out, I could join them next time? The idea was certainly titillating, but I really couldn’t believe it would ever happen. All I could do was nervously wait and see.
“NYOOOOOOOPE!” Jack shouted, bursting out of the suite. He was wearing nothing but a jockstrap, a collar and a leash. “NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE NOPE!” He stormed into his suite and slammed the door.
Bob appeared at the entrance of our suite wearing black leather, holding a riding crop limply against his shoulder.
“We must never speak of this again,” Bob said solemnly, shutting the door.
I wasn’t worried. I was relieved. The feeling that the universe was gaslighting me dissipated. I knew Jack wouldn’t think less of Bob because of this. It would probably strengthen their bond when all was said and done. And I figured this would probably get Bob to tone things down just a notch, without seriously hurting the flamboyant exuberance I loved.
Everything was going to be ok.
I knew my boys better than they knew themselves.
Next: Jesus’ Son vs. the Protestants
Doing Drugs with Jesus’ Son is always free.